Classic

Is it just the child in me that thinks this is funny because I was cracking up when I watched this. Here are those NBA blow up mascots just busting all sorts of dance moves. I think it's so stupid that it ends up being priceless I don't know.

Advertisement at DC Metro Station Goes Way Too Far

Listen, I'm all for healthy political debate and all but this honestly goes way too far. Do I disagree with some of Obamas ways, absolutely but I don't care if it is the devil in the White House, you respect the President of the United States. You respect the office even if the person there stole your wife and is now your worst enemy. The Office of the President of the United States is one the most powerful positions in the world and it is to be respected. It is the people who create these ads that cause the problems in this country. They clearly are uneducated and there is no denying that. If the President speaks, you listen. If he does something you don't like then you act in a respectful manner demanding change. Putting up ridiculous signs that have absolutely no point is not the way to get it done and it is an embarrassment to the First Amendment. If you are going to exercise your First Amendment rights do it in a way that makes sense and not in a way where you sound like you were raised by cavemen.

Lamar Odom to Boston?

I honestly don't think I can welcome this man to Boston after all that I had said about him when the Celtics and Lakers met in back to back finals, splitting them. However as a fan of the green and white, it is vital that I put my dislike for Odom aside and realize that he can actually help this team. Jermaine O'Neill is simply a walking corpse out there and Garnett is aging faster than me. Chris Wilcox has been tossed around the league too much and is just too inconsistent. The numbers for Odom this year are down with him averaging just over 7 points a game but I blame that on where he is. He was just kind of shipped out of LA quietly and nobody seemed to care. He just isn't in a good situation down in Dallas and he wants out. He'd be willing to buyout his contract to come to Boston. He also has expressed interest in making moves to New Jersey and that would just be a riot. Could you imagine him and Kris Humphries lacing up the kicks together in the locker room? For some reason I don't think Khloe would be too thrilled about that. Somewhere Kris is hoping this happens so he has an opening to win Kim back. Fingers crossed Kris!

But there is only one woman in Boston and that is Gisele. Khloe, if Lamar ends up in Boston, must learn that she has to work her way up in order to be able to open her mouth about her husband's team. Gisele went in guns hot about 4 weeks ago and I don't expect to hear anything from Khloe until she earns her stripes.

Stop Hating on my Baby

Instead of a congratulations, all I'm seeing today on Twitter and Facebook is how my baby is doomed because Snooki is the mother. Listen, if I didn't think that Snooki was a responsible person I would not have started a family with her. I haven't received one congratulations or "nice going" from anybody and frankly I'm shocked. Snooki is really excited about this and would appreciate it if you showed some sort of support for her. You are all probably thinking that either Vinny or Gianni is the father but honestly those two guys were just coverups for me. I"m here in college trying to get a degree and make money for our brand new family so I really didn't have time to star on the show. I was also a little different from the rest of the cast. Chances are with my big mouth I wouldn't have survived 3 days in that house, let alone an hour walking on the boardwalk. During this time I ask that you please respect the privacy of my soon to be wife as we deal with this stressful, yet exciting time. And one more thing, enough talk about the Mayans and all this trash. If anything, my baby will defy all odds and be the last remaining human on Earth. Wouldn't that just be a nightmare. A Ryan combined with a Snooki starting civilization all over again. Boom.

Isn't she just the cutest?

I Didn't Know a Grown Man Could Make This Noise

Was watching the Bruins game the other night as they took on the Sens in Ottawa and Chara was called for a penalty. Despite Jason Spezza just acting like a complete girl scout at the 23 second mark we hear Jack Edwards (Bruins announcer) make a noise with his mouth that I didn't even know a human was capable of making. I was absolutely shocked that this noise overcame my computer speakers. Unreal, but can't stop listening to it.

A Message From Yours Truly

Decided to give myself a little face time since I know all of you may miss the sound of my voice, not so much my face though. Enjoy it, but not too much.

For the Fans

Great video. This is what a real fan is. Regardless of whether you have been trampled in a dog pile during a celebration or have gotten champagne in your eye after a victory, the party and the celebration must continue on. This is what our young fan here is showing us. I hate the people that go around saying how sports are too intense and people like them too much. Well get over it. Sports and being a sports fan is a way of life. It is a culture. If you don't like it, then keep your mouth shut. Honestly, I'd rather have my wife cheat on me when I'm older than to watch the Patriots lose another Super Bowl to the Giants. That's simply a fact. The pain I felt after that game was imaginable. When your team wins a huge game, you celebrate your heart out and you leave it all out there, even if you happen to poke yourself in the eye. Cherish it my friend. Championships are indeed hard to come by.

Sportscasters Really Screwing It Up These Days

I honestly don't know how you can just mess something like this up. This guy clearly had no idea that he was live on the air and thought this was all being pre-recorded. What are the chances that this guy is fired tomorrow honestly. Not to mention this guy has a worse hairline than I do. I got that whole high hairline, balding thing going on but this guy just takes that to a whole new level. I'm sure they can find a much sharper looking anchor to take care of sports. I mean for crying out loud, it seems that the hot field for every female nowadays is sideline reporting. Why not female sport anchors? This guy  may have just started that revolution due to his foul mouth and his receding hairline. Well played sir. Adios.

Seinfeldism of the Day: Boxers or Briefs?

Is it true that boxers are really better for your sperm count? Elaine tried feeding me this knowledge but I don't know if I buy it. I'm a boxers guy myself so I mean I guess it really doesn't matter. But for Cosmo Kramer here, he is very particular. He winds up just ditching the jockeys and boxers and feels that going commando is the best route. Absolutely great sequence of scenes here.

NHL Trade Deadline Shocker

Oh those Vancouver Canucks. Always finding a way to screw it up somehow and they did just that earlier today when they sent their promising 22-year old stud of a hockey player Cody Hodgson to Buffalo. In return, the Canucks received a tougher hockey player in Zack Kassian, a 21-year old bloomer. Hodgson is hands down a better skilled hockey player than Kassian is. Hodgson had an absolute howitzer of a slap shot and scored 16 goals this season while he only averaged 13 minutes a game. Playing behind the Sedin sisters he obviously wasn't going to develop much because those two don't make players better, they just like padding their statistics. What this move shows is that the Canucks lack of toughness has been bugging them and that was evident in the 7 game series against the Bruins in the Stanley Cup. The Canucks couldn't hang. They ran out of gas because of the "Big, Bad, Bruisin Bruins." With Kassian on the squad now they have a tougher presence on the ice and we will see how that plays out for them. They were a bunch of fairies on the ice in the playoffs and don't play the game the proper way. They are chippy and all they do is let their mouths run all game long. They are the 1 seed in the West again currently and it looks like it could stay that way due to their horrific division opponents. I'm hoping for another Bruin, Canuck final and I can bring home the Cup for the second straight year.

Another Reason Why the 40-Yard Dash is Comical

Here is Vick Ballard. Running back out of Mississippi State. My man steps up to run the 40 yard dash and doesn't quite make it 10 yards. What they should assess here is his desire to get to that 10 yard marker. Let's think of this as an NFL game. He got the handoff and ran exactly the way he did and fell at that 10 yard marker, did he get the first down? I'm looking at it closely and it appears that camera stand in his way made the stop and his knee was down just shy of the first down marker. But not many running backs can whip off 40-yard runs. My man whips off a productive 9 yard run and puts his team in good position to pick up the first down. This is what I take from this. If I'm a scout, I like what he did here. He revolutionized the the 40 yard dash. He made it into a 10 yard run. "A pick up of 9 yard for Ballard. Tackle made by the camera stand. That'll bring up 2nd down and a yard to go."

New Celebration

So I have a class at 2:20 today and I am getting the midterm back that I took in that class last Wednesday. I filled up that entire blue book which by the way are the most dreadful things to look at and hold. Just the whole idea of a blue book just scares me. When using one I never know whether or not to use the back of the sheet as well. I'll be cruising along answering a question and then I reach the end of the page and I literally spend about 5 minutes pondering to myself whether or not to use the back of the page. I base my decision off of whether or not the pen that I am using bled through the page. Nothing worse than writing on the back of a page where the pen just bled right on through. I would like it a whole lot better if professors just simply stated "do not use the back of the page." My life would be a heck of a lot easier. Anyways, if I get that blue book back today and I hauled in an 'A' this is going to be my celebration. Word for word, move for move. Fist pump, swearing and all. The only thing that would be missing is my wife crying in the background. Maybe I can ask some girl to carry out that role.

Greatest Buzzard Beater of All-Time?

Don't know how many of you saw this but Cal Poly Pomona (white jerseys) hit one of the most ridiculous game winning shots I've seen. Just when you think its over, they just dash the hopes of the other squad in ridiculous fashion. Unreal. Dude just chucks a prayer in the air and drains it. Division II basketball at its finest right here. Sports baby, you can't script it.

Common Occurrences at a College Library

Many of you reading this do not go to my school and I obviously do not go to yours. But if it is one thing I do know, it's that all college libraries contain the same cast of characters in each one. I was in the library tonight and amidst my studious ways, I was able to look around and observe the wonderful thing that is the college library.

1. The Person With Their Music Too Loud

We have all been in that quiet room in the library. Besides the heavy breathers and the turning of book pages, we hear this static noise in the distance. Immediately we are distracted from what we are doing and we cannot help but to try and figure out the song that the person is listening too. Don't lie. We have all done this. We start mumbling the words to see if it fits in with the beat. Before we go over and rip the headphones away from this person, we truly do want to figure out what jam he or she is listening to. Then we finally figure it out, Cinema by Skrillex. Nowadays when trying to decode a song from distant headphones, just assume it's Skrillex. If you hear a high pitched shriek followed by a chain of what are believed to be alien messages, then it's Skrillex. Then, before going over and teaching this person a lesson you realize why you can hear the music, it's because they only have one headphone in. For the love of christ, if you're going to listen to music, please put both headphones in. What are you Vincent van Gogh with one ear? Just put both in and if you aren't going to, turn off your dubstep. 

2. The Awkward Date

Now these are usually two people, male and female that had probably just met each other in class at the beginning of the semester. They decided to exchange numbers and they texted each other to study for the upcoming midterm. Obviously we all know that absolutely no studying gets done in this circumstance. The male wants to be able to take her out over the weekend and he daydreams about the endless possibilities of where this could lead. The female just is hating her life. However, neither the male or female wants to come off as too studious and uptight so they will limit what they bring with them. Usually all you see in front of each of them is their respective notebook and their laptop. That's it. Anything more than that could scare the other party away for being too nuts and neither wants to do that. These two people usually sit themselves at a table away from the crowd, usually against a wall or window so just in case the "studying" gets boring the window watching is always an option. If all goes well, you usually see them walk out together. If the little date didn't go so well she will usually tell him "I have a meeting" or "I'm really tired" (I have experience in both instances). Now whether they sit together in class the next day is completely determined by the library outing. 

3. The Overdressed Bros and Gals

So what's acceptable library attire on a Sunday night? I'd go with the nice sweatpants and Boston Bruins shirt. It's a go to. That's what I was rocking tonight. Had the tunes going, flashcards flashing and the printer was printing. When I stopped to look around I saw a chick in high heels and a fancy blouse and then I saw multiple kids with the button down look. I even saw some people rocking the old jacket, shirt and tie. Okay don't hop on my ace here Frat Bros and Sor Girls I know Sunday night is chapter night but for the love of god just change before coming to the library. Studying in a shirt and tie and jacket must feel awful. My library is hot and stuffy so the pit stains on that blue button down would've been ruthless. Just put on something comfortable. You're not going to a club, nobody picks up chicks in the library and no body is spitting game. You may think to yourself "Oh snap that girl from across the room just checked me out." The answer is that no she didn't she is just bored senseless studying and she happened to catch your eye checking her out. If you pick up somebody in the library then just marry them because spitting game when your on some sort of "study helper" is quite an accomplishment.

4. The Overly Intimidating Nerd

You sit down, settle in at a table and you look around and you spy the kid who has been in the library through the wee hours of the night. They got Starbucks cups littered around them and their hair looks like its been through hell. Every five minutes they give the loud sigh noise and in a way you sort of feel bad for them. However, you then look at yourself and feel like you are a failure because Dutch over here is just grinding through the night and you were probably doing a keg stand at 2 am while he was spitting out all sorts of derivatives. For a split second you say to yourself "I'm pulling an all-nighter" and then a minute or two later you yawn and call it a night.

A-Rod Offers Lin a Place "to Crash"

Has Alex Rodriguez hit rock bottom or what? First of all, every record the man has is going to have an asterisk next to it because of his use of steroids and now he's calling for attention from everybody in New York by asking Jeremy Lin to come be his roommate. Honestly, this is by far the biggest publicity stunt I've seen in my lifetime besides Kris Humphries of course. The aging third basemen has obviously been out of the spotlight too long and is really trying to get himself back in it. Listen pal, Lin doesn't need you to offer him a place to sleep. Lin is just doing fine on his own. Yes he's turning the ball over 10 times a game but that doesn't mean you can take advantage of this in hopes of him turning money over to you for rent. Why don't you just focus on spring training and staying healthy. Obviously the 'roids have taken a toll on your body being that you have all of a sudden become injury prone. Leave Lin alone, I mean for crying out loud he should be offering you a place to stay, the man has his own ice cream!

UConn Flash Mob

How does it rank? I enjoyed it. Love the effort. But college flash mobs and traditions are a tough thing to be well known for since there are so many good ones. By the way, this was a sick game last night. Would of liked to see the Huskies take down Syracuse. I think they played a close enough game to where I think UConn will sneak into the tourney and it won't hurt them terribly.

This is my favorite. University of Wisconsin ladies and gents.

How Meaningless is the 40-yard Sprint?

It's all over the internet. Robert Griffin III ran a 4.38 dash. Great. I'm very impressed. It's quite fast and is a good sign of athletic ability I guess. But running the 40 can be practiced and there is a method to the madness when running it. It's all in the jump you get off the line. It's all timing. If you get a bad start, then you're pretty much doomed. It's a nice thing for the combine to do. But honestly, the combine is nothing but a money making aspect of the NFL nowadays anyway. The only reason that the combine actually came to be was so all the players could get their physicals done in one place. It was a way to save money and make the process of getting all the physicals done in an orderly fashion. Now like any smart organization would do, they realized they could make money off of it. Very smart move. But honestly, when Brady weighed in at the combine he looked like an even scrawnier me and now is the greatest of all time. So does the combine really prove anything? Could you tell me the 40 time of Barry Sanders or Emmett Smith? No you couldn't. It means nothing. And tell me when RGIII will ever be wearing this attire in an NFL game. You got a 15 pound helmet, with pads and heavier shoes on. Unless Nike who takes over uniform production in like 2 years has the players trot out there in a speedo and a youth sized shirt, RGIII won't see this time again. Honestly, the 40 sickens me.

By the way, a few players who have run a faster time than RG3...

DeMarcus Van Dyke
Darrius Heyward-Bey
Fabian Washington
Yamon Figurs

Is it a tell tale sign of success? Not really.

Marquette is Officially My Pick to Win it All

Just look at the poor cry babies behind him reacting to this. What did he disgrace your little song? Is that legit the only thing that West Virginia has, a song? He just took your song, stomped all over your logo and sent you guys home crying. Love how fired up the little student section gets in the back. Bunch of tough guys back there. Take the loss and take the absolute epic taunt like men. Bunch of whining babies back there. Tip your cap to Buzz because he just absolutely killed that song. I will never listen to that song again and not picture Buzz Williams just two-stepping all over the Mountaineer logo. Take a seat WVU, you just got worked.

Rodgers Bites the Hand that Feeds Him and Braun is NOT Clean

Aaron Rodgers is really tweeting about how awful ESPN is about making Ryan Braun out to be a fool and an idiot? Aaron are you serious? The only reason you are as big as you are is simply because of the fact ESPN had your back throughout the whole Brett Favre situation. ESPN does not care about any other team except for the Packers bro. It's unreal and here you are going off just stabbing them right in the back after they single handily made you comfortable in your starting role. You are a piece of work and are nothing short of being overrated. You have never had my respect and you never will. Not that you really need my respect because I'm pretty irrelevant, but regardless you absolutely suck. What is this all of a sudden you fell the need to protect Braun because you probably ate dinner with him a few times in Milwaukee because you're the best two athletes that state has seen professionally? Sweet bro. If it weren't for Rachel Nichols absolutely wanting to marry you, you would not have had the confidence to even play a football game. Big tough guy saying it all on Twitter huh Aaron? Pretty big words for a guy who just choke jobbed in the playoffs this year huh? Here's a lesson folks...never bite the hand that feeds you. Let's if Rachel Nichols tweets about you every two seconds now. And you're calling me an idiot? Calling us idiots because for years baseball has been tainted with like scum bags like Ryan Braun? I have no question that Braun is guilty and this is nothing but a Bud Selig cover-up. Selig can't afford an MVP to be dirty on his watch. Selig has already lost control of the league, he really can't have this happen. Nice work Bud. Favres better by the way.

Aaron Rodgers ‏ @

I'll let my buddy take it from here. All u idiots talking about technicality open up for some crow too. See if Espn gets pressured not to let the people hear the truth. Should get interesting. #exonerated #shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Sweet hashtag too bro...what are you 7?

Rika tiki slim shady big guy. Some rapper will take this a put this at the beginning of their song eventually. Keep on rallying bro.

For the Record, Philadelphia is a Fantastic City

PHOTO COURTESY OF THE ONE AND ONLY JIM HEN. 

I can't stand the people who go around saying how Philly is such an awful city. All I hear is that Philly is dirty, it's gross, it's weird. How old are you guys? Philadelphia is an absolutely phenomenal city. If you want dirty, if you want gross then you have to go hit up Detroit or the Northeast section of Washington, D.C. If you want gross and dirty go there. But just because you hate the Philly sports fan and the Philly teams does not mean you have to go attacking the city itself. I hate every New York team and you don't see me going off an ripping on the city itself. I love the city. New York City is hands down the greatest city in the nation and probably the world. Haven't been to London or Paris but I really don't have an interest in going. But anyways, just lay off of Philly. It has a gorgeous skyline, friendly people and it is a big college town. Who doesn't love a college town? Plenty of good looking chicks, good parties and plenty of bars everywhere. Alright done playing tour guide I just had to get that off my chest.

Top 3 Cities (in no order)
1. Boston
2. Philly
3. New York

Of course those are in order are you kidding? What am I a softy?

A Story of a True Underdog

We've seen it all before. There comes that moment where the little guy, the less superior team or person takes down the one that has haunted them time and time again. Everybody in America loves a true underdog, the less skilled and they love to see the dominant force collapse. Well this past weekend, a moment took place that will forever go down in history as one of the greatest upsets of all time. A man who has been haunted by another year after year finally dethroned the king of the castle. But it did not come easy. It was a Friday night and it was a team competition, these two men Jim and Ryan,  both exceptional at their sport went up against the "evil empire" of "this kid" and Conrad. The games consisted of multiple events and Team Jim and Ryan dominated throughout the entire night, but the "evil empire" hung around and stayed close behind. In the last event, Jim and Ryan held onto the close lead and the promise land was in sight. But for those of you who are unfamiliar with Ryan, he is a choke artist. He can't finish games. He's not a closer. He starts off hot and then blows leads like its his job. He once played a game of NHL 12 and jumped out to a 5-0 lead and ended losing that game 8-6, giving up 6 goals in the 3rd period. So what do you think happened? He let Jim down. He "Bucknered"the last event. He choked. He blew the 8 1/2 game lead on the Rays, he went 18-1. The evil empire capitalized on Ryan's inability to finish off the victory and they marched off with the victory. Dreams were shattered. The game was their for the taking. The gold medal was there and it all came crashing down. That night, as Ryan's head hit the pillow he knew that day after would be different. After a night of dancing to Backstreet Boys at some clubs, he knew it was going to be different tomorrow. He had this feeling. This feeling was one of hope and motivation. He had let Jim down, he had let all the glory slide away. 8pm the next day rolled around and it was game time. Ryan showered up, put on his lucky hat and proceeded to the gridiron. He observed that "this kid" was running through his competition with no problems. He wasn't even sweating. His release of the ball, his form, his focus was all perfect. Ryan knew that the night ahead of him was going to be a long and hard one and defeat seemed to be in the forecast. However, the playlist on the iPod playing was absolutely just killing it. Ryan was jamming, he was feeling the flow, he was ready to send the ball back to his home (Happy Gilmore). His name rang and Ryan was up, it was his turn against "the kid" who had humiliated him for years and had destroyed his weekends. "NOT TONIGHT," Ryan thought to himself. And the game was on. Best 2 out of 3.

Game 1: Ryan wins handily. Beating "the kid" by 2. 

Game 2: "The kid" dominates every aspect of the game 

It all seemed too familiar to Ryan. The promise land in sight, the trophy near his grasp and all he had to do was win one more game. But yet, that's all he had to do the night before and he choked. He had choked all along. He could never get it done. CHOKE CHOKE CHOKE. That's all he had been known for. In a clutch situation you'd be better off giving a blind person the ball than give it to Ryan. But not tonight, this was HIS time. 

Game 3: It was down to the final cup for each player. "The kid" had missed both of his and now it was up to Ryan. He gripped the balls tight and released. BANG on the first. And now the second for the victory...BANG. It was over. The monkey was off his back. It was over. Now you are all probably wondering who "this kid" is. His name is Wamberg. He likes to call himself "Da Berg." For years, Ryan couldn't get to him, couldn't conquer him. Well I got one message for you Bergy...

"I climbed the Berg and slipped a few times. But I never fell into the water below. When there seemed to be no step, I created one. I made one. I made my way to the top. I persevered. You are no longer "Da Berg" you are just one of the many "bergs" (no capitalization) that float in the cold waters today. It's over sweetheart. Hope you enjoyed your run."

Lebron Drinks Apple Martinis

According to a Cleveland area steakhouse waitress, Lebron sucks down apple martinis like its his job. Apparently its his drink of choice. This is just another reason to laugh at possibly the most hated athlete in America. There is nothing wrong with a vodka martini, straight up, dirty. That's a man's drink. That's how real men do it. There is none of this adding fruity goodness to a drink. You order that for your girlfriend or wife at the bar, not for yourself. This waitress doesn't end the admissions there. Apparently, James orders his steak not only well-done but also "cut up into pieces." Besides the fact that I used to ask my Mommy to cut up my food until I was about 5 years old, he orders his steak well-done? A real man orders a steak medium rare to medium. When you get a steak well-done you mine as well just burn the thing dry. A well-done steak doesn't have a taste, you need to have that red to pink center and that nice meat flavor. He also likes his spaghetti cut up apparently. Frankly, I never understood the point of cutting spaghetti up because it just makes it absolutely impossible to eat. Like honestly how do you attack cut up spaghetti? It just slides off a spoon and a fork is about as useful as the French in a war. Lebron's reasoning for getting all his foods cut up is because he liked the idea of bringing home with him on the road. News flash Lebron: your hometown of Akron does not like you anymore. You stabbed them in the back and flat out embarassed them. Your home is Miami now. So learn to drink some rum and go tanning on a nude beach because Ohio is no longer your state. Drink responsibly ya chick!

Seinfeldism of the Day: Zinger

You need a zinger? Need to just put a person in their place? Take lessons from our man Costanza. Awkwardness all day baby. Love it.

Adele Just Got That Much Hotter

Adele just jumped from a 9.9 out of 10 to a 10 out of 10 without question. After cleaning house at the Britain Music Awards or whatever they call it over there, she was giving another acceptance speech and those sons of guns cut her off. Well Adele did what any dime would do and that's to flick off the producers of the show. This shows that Adele just has absolute crazy side to her that makes me want to go out and party with her. Unfortunately I don't have her digits or have the celebrity status to even get close to her but a man can dream right? Got to love a chick who has a little fight in her, a little bit of an edge. She has every right to go off on the producers of these awards. How dare you cut off the speech of the "songbird of our generation." She has the absolute voice of an angel. As a matter of fact, I'm tearing up just listening to "Someone Like You" right now. I get looks like I am absolute nuts that I think Adele is good looking. The whole fat, weird looking, weird hair type excuses just don't work on me. How could you not want your girlfriend to sing like that? Adele is a whole lot of woman. What a gal!

Pitchers and Catchers Report to Fort Myers

Well after a long and very painful offseason the boys are back. Terry is gone, and Lackey is probably yelling at someone for overcooking his fried chicken and I have a feeling this is the year where the Sox return to the top of the baseball world. Many of you will not continue reading after reading that line. Probably going to get back to watch mediocre Jeremy Lin highlights or watch Eli Manning blindly throw balls around a football field. Anyways, let me put my anger aside for just a few more moments. I was very excited to see the moves the Sox made in the off-season making a point to improve the bullpen they had last season. Signing Andrew Bailey and Mark Melancon will solidify that bullpen and once again make it reliable. Jonathan Papelbon is out and will make a living blowing saves in the City of Brotherly Love and I couldn't be happier. His death stare to the plate was getting old and he had lost his intimidation factor that once was such an advantage. His tailing fastball had become flat and hitters after seeing him for a longer period of time began to tee-off. They were picking up the ball quicker from his release and so began the downfall of Pap and it will only continue in Philly. Regardless of that nutjob, Bailey and Melancon will be competing for that closer role. Talks were that Daniel Bard was going to fill that role, but with that fat-load Lackey having Tommy John in the off-season, the Sox are seeking another starter. That starter may be Bard. Whether he has the stamina to go 6-plus innings has yet to be seen. He was usually a one inning type man pumping his fastball up in the triple digits and kind of left it all out there. Whenever he got into that second inning of work, he became erratic and hung his slider a bit too much for my liking. But if one thing is for sure, the Sox will again be in the hunt and hopefully we can resist leaving our chances until the last game of the season.


By the way, does that video not just get you absolutely amped?

Saw This, Had to Post It

The Home Depot one had me in stitches. Check please!

Is This A Violation of a Basic Human Right?

How can they just do this. I wake up to this email? I got out of bed got my towel and out of the shower spout came a whole lot of nothing. What exactly is a vital plumbing situation? Forget it I don't really want to know. This building is old enough to the point where I think if I saw the condition of the pipes here, I'd walk around smelling like an Italian cold-cut and would be content. But literally it is the worst feeling in the world getting all ready for a shower in the morning and not having running water. It was literally a feeling of absolute defeat and helplessness. Not to mention I was in nothing but a towel and was absolutely freezing which just put the fudge on that sundae. It's safe to guess that yes I did rock sweatpants and a hoodie today. If GW isn't gong to give me the water I need then I'm not returning the favor with my Sunday's best. I literally cannot believe they can deny someone the right to water. What if someone had blown the campaign sky high and caused a fire? Ballgame. Game over. Game. Set. Match. There was no water, no way to put the fire out and boom goes the dynamite. As a matter of fact Ms. Paris I do have a question...what the hell?

Brady Quinn Lands All Sorts of Haymakers at Tebow

Of all guys to come out and start just landing jabs, the last guy it should be is the man who rides the pine behind Tebow. No I am not a Tebow fan but Brady Quinn just crosses all sorts of lines here. Does he make some interesting points in his arguments? Absolutely. Does he just violate every rule of being a teammate and having your brother's back? You betchya. For a guy who has only tossed 10 TDs and has given up the ball 12 times, he really has a big mouth on him.

His Statements...

• "Early in the season, there was a game when Kyle [Orton] got hurt and the coaches were calling for me to go in, but Kyle got up and finished the game out. So I was the second-string guy. Then, a few weeks later, they decided to put Tim in. I felt like the fans had a lot to do with that. Just ’cause they were chanting his name. There was a big calling for him. No, I didn't have any billboards. That would have been nice."

• "The entire game, the defensive line is chasing the quarterback around, and that wears down the pass rush. Meanwhile, the defensive backs are chasing receivers, but you only throw eight passes, so they start to feel lazy. It only takes that one play, that one big pass, for a touchdown."

He questioned Tebow's humbleness through it all as well. Quinn and I should have a chat soon. It could be very interesting. 

Best Hockey Goal Horns Can Be Used at Rips

Alright this post may seem flat out ridiculous but just bare with me here. If you want to get your college party ragin' then just plug in the old iPod into the speakers and turn on YouTube. Hockey goal horns (for those who don't know are the horns that sound when the home team scores) are one of the greatest traditions in all of sports. For some people I'm sure they just go to hockey games for the beers and the goal horns. For years, I have been strangely obsessed with this aspect of hockey. Aside from loving hockey and also thinking it takes the most athletic ability to play, the hockey goal horns have always held a special place in my heart. After kickin' it at the library last night (studious) I came back to the room got in bed and downloaded the greatest app of all-time that has all the 2012 hockey goal horns. Now I scrolled through all of them and listened to each one about 3 times and decided on the top 3. If someone sinks the last cup or gets iced, all you got to do is right at that moment hit the play button and have these sounds just blast through your house. Some people may look at you like "where's my top 40 music?" If they do that, just give them the boot. Unless they request Adele then you let them drink for free.

1. Chicago Blackhawks: Great goal song here. Gets the juices flowing.

2. New Jersey Devils: This is one you would use if you drain that last cup in overtime. Celebratory champagne everywhere and this in the background. Just imagine.

3. Calgary Flames: Little Duck Sauce in here. Tight flip cup game, comes down the wire, your teams wins? Bam. Hit play and start busting moves.

Lecture Hall Revolution

Alright I've had enough of the whole leaving a seat between two people when it comes to sitting down for class. I'm changing the game. I'm frankly disgusted with how much people really don't like putting themselves out there and interacting. I got to tell you too it is at an all time high at my school. Some people have the whole "F*** off" tattooed on their forehead and other people simply struggle to even mutter two words when having a conversation. Well that's all about to change because I'm scrubbing off that tat starting right now (yes, as I sit waiting for class to begin) I have sat next to someone, no chair in between. The classroom is virtually empty so I am indeed that creepy dude in the lecture hall. She's probably saying to herself what the hell is this guy doing? She has every right to, however the minute I get done posting this I'm going to strike up a nice conversation and it'll make her day. I have no interest in even communicating with this girl again because she doesn't seem like she gets out much but maybe it'll put a smile on her face. I'm battling against the awkwardness here. Sure some people smell, have bad breathe or spread their legs out so much that getting within a 10 foot radius of them is impossible but I'm on a mission. Have you ever seen someone sit down and then put their bag on the seat next to them? That's the real kicker. There's always one of those kids. Or the kid who sits in the way back usually wearing a ridiculous looking hoodie and all you can see is the top of his head because his playing Words with Friends. That's my next task tomorrow. Sit next to that "way-back sitter." That'll be a shock to his little territory huh? One moment he thinks he's all safe in his little area and the next class BOOM I'm all up in his grill. Let the battle begin. I'll break the ice with this girl by telling her I like her sneakers. Chick is rocking some sweet kicks right now.


PS-Guys do not apply this policy to the bathroom when choosing a urinal. Always leave a space, if not two. Not leaving a space is not a revolution it's just a little weird.

Someone Help

I love America but are we seriously about to nominate a presidential candidate who believes in bombing Iran with nuclear weapons?

The question posed was who would you vote for to receive the Republican nomination?


Feb. 10-13 

2012 

 Santorum 34% 

 Romney 32% 

 Paul 16% 

 Gingrich 15% 

 Someone else (vol.) * 

 None/ No one (vol.) 2% 

 No opinion 2% 

 Ryan Brennan .2% 

Lin the New Tebow...And We All Know How That Story Ends

Listen, I've been venting about this for a while now and I just have to get it out there. Jeremy Lin is nothing but the flavor of the month in that so called "sports town" that is New York City. Listen, I understand the Jet, Met and Islander fans getting excited because let's face it, every season doesn't exactly treat them with kindness so they deserve this. So I'm not necessarily blaming this base of fans. I'm pointing my finger at the Giant fans, the ones who are now parading around saying that New York is back. I know winning just isn't really in your past but let's all settle down. Can the kid play? Yes, the kid has game. But I'm hearing "better than Rondo" "best in the league" and "MVP." Don't hide Giant fans, I know who's starting these little irrational predictions. It's time to step off your high horse and stop putting every athlete in your town on a pedestal. First it was Stoudemire, then it was Anthony and now it's Lin. All of sudden you guys just despise both Carmelo and Amare and are infatuated with Lin. Do you ever remain loyal? For crying out loud, you guys wanted to fire Coughlin. Do you even know what loyalty is? And another thing. All of sudden you guys actually know who Henrik Lundqvist is. It's about time holy crap. Just now you are realizing that the Rangers are a Stanley Cup contender. That's not a sports town. As far as I am concerned, New York is nothing but a front-running, conditional loving sports city with phenomenal restaurants and attractive women. That's how I view it. It's not intimidating to play New York. The fan base isn't scary. The only reason why the city is viewed as a sports town is because you have the largest media outlet in the nation. Aside from that, New York fans are soft. Let me be clear, Jet, Met and Islander fans are not included in this. They understand their place and eventually I'll have to give them the business. But as for you Giant, Yankee and Rangers fans (all of sudden there are) get over your "Linsanity." You didn't hear me going all nuts for Rondo making up stupid phrases for him. I'm not a cheerleader, I'm a sports fan. I actually understand what's going on and follow the teams through the pain and glory. You guys are cheerleaders, you travel with the team but pay attention very little. This world is full of front-runners and the capital of that category is no other than New York, New York.

Exhibit A.

Iran Loves Valentine's Day...What?

Just as Iran and Israel are about to just go nuts on each other and both are just in a shouting match, Iran has come out and said they love Valentine's Day. Well if this isn't just a "what the heck" moment then I don't know what is. Last time I checked, Valentine's Day is a very Western type tradition and Iran isn't exactly in bed with the western world. Maybe this is a sign? Maybe we aren't so different. Maybe we actually can get along. Maybe instead of having Valentine's Day just be celebrated by couples we can expand to countries as well. So hear me out. Each year a country gets a Valentine aka another country. From there, each country can exchange gifts from little Hershey Kisses to ballistic missiles whatever floats their boat. Obviously candies and cards of various sorts will be highly suggested. So this year Israel and Iran can be Valentines and maybe the U.S. can send a few thousand bouquets to Pakistan. Maybe this whole gift exchange can hit the soft spots of what has seem to become a world of egos and power-hungry greedy individuals. But if its one thing we are all sure of, Australia would be a hell of a Valentine because they just love everybody. Just hanging out all isolated and raging with the roos, that nation is just living it up. Dibs on them.

Again This is Why Sports Are Awesome

This little Kindergardener has the attitude of a Boston fan but only way out west in Kansas. I don't really expect this out of the midwest which is shocking. I felt bad for Indianapolis when Pats and Giants fans just rained down on the city. It was probably the most obnoxious the city has ever been and the virgin ears of the people living there are virgin no more. Regardless, I love the passion of this little kid. Teacher tells her to color in the Kansas Jayhawk and she just flat out refuses to do so. Why? Because she's a Kansas State fan and for her it's all about the Wildcats. Screw the Jayhawk. Of course though, the teacher and school made the poor girl color it in, but she did it reluctantly. Then the girl decided to write an apology to the teacher for refusing to color in the Jayhawk and I have a problem with this. This girl needs to understand that there is no need to apologize here. When it comes to sports, everybody is on the same level as everyone else. If a teacher is going to force you to go against your team then you give it right back to her and don't apologize. I spend my life on Facebook just spitting all sorts of stuff and never once have I apologized because let's face it I hate New York. Apologizing for talking trash just isn't a winning mentality. Once you say it, mean it. Don't apologize. What are they teaching kids these days? Maybe this is why every young fan nowadays is soft and too neutral. There's no passion anymore, there's no fight. If I were a teacher and tried to make a Giant fan color in the Patriots logo and he refused, I would chuck him out of my class but repsect the hell out of the kid after. Kid has guts. That's what our schools need. Screw math and science, let's teach the art of toughness and BS-ing.


THE CONVERSATION:

Emma, you need to color this thing. The teacher might have to send you to the principal's office.

I don't care. I'm not coloring it.

Hmmm…Ok. What if I make you a deal. What if I print out a Powercat and you color it purple, grey and white. Then write an apology to your teacher because you were rude. Will you agree to that?

(pouts) Fine.

Ok, but you need to color that Jayhawk for your teacher.

(silent, exhales) Fine.

You will?

Yes. But I don't like it. And I'm wearing a K-State shirt tomorrow.

Fine. You don't have to like it. Just do it and I want you to tell your teacher you're sorry as well.

Again This is Why You Stay Outta the Water

That's a shark eating another shark. For christ sake, they can't even keep peace with themselves, so how do you suppose we can ever understand them? They're just killing each other off now. Shark revolution is slowly coming. Brace yourselves and stay out of the ocean.

Moss Wants to Make a Comeback

I want him. Bring him back. Bring him back to New England. He'll be that downfield threat and bring back that famous touchdown dance of his. If you want to create the most potent offense of all time, topping the 2007 Patriots (shocking). "Oh he'll just be another Ochocinco." False. No he will not. Moss respects the Patriots and the offense. If it weren't for him having a brain fart against the Dolphins and waking up on the wrong side of the bed that morning, he'd still be on the squad. The man was feeling on edge and he was agitated. That's all and that's why he was cut. I would love to see them bring back Moss. I got news for you, Moss makes that catch that Welker decided to gag away. There's something about the phrase 'Brady to Moss' that still has magic in it. Wouldn't that be a story. Moss comes back and the Pats get him his ring. He'd go into the Hall as a Patriot for sure. Call me crazy, nuts an idiot, all of the above. I'm excited for this upcoming season, bring on August baby.



HIS TWEET...

Randy Moss @DaRealOtisMoss

• Close

Thank all u for the luv now back to biz!!there's good an bad an u have to b ready for both!its in gods hand now

Thought This Was Priceless

Apparently Vermont state troopers are just realizing that the inmates in their state just played them harder than I play the Rock Band drums. I want to tell you what they did but I kind of want you to see if you can tell what they did. Prison must absolutely suck if you can come up with something this clever. Then again, they are criminals so they are pretty messed up regardless. But anyway, this seal shown above was on the sides of 30 state trooper cars (Vermont needs that many?) and it took them over a year to notice this blunder. They just noticed it today and it'll cost them 800 dollars per car to replace the decal. Looks like the mess hall will be cutting down on food as a result of this prank. What does this say about Vermont? How slow do you have to be to notice this, I really don't get it. Drinking too much maple syrup I guess.