Best Commercials of All-Time

5. "List of Demands": Nike
Listen I despise LaDianian Tomlinson but in this commercial he has some sweet lines. Kills it at the beginning and end of this commercial. The song is absolutely brilliant and makes me want to get up and run 10 miles right now, heck even 26.2. Such a motivating commercial. If you can't get hype to this commercial then that's weak.

Seinfeldism of the Day: Role Reversal

Sometimes you end up just taking on the characteristics of that person you see every day or some of your best friends. In this case, Jerry spends one night in Kramer's room with the bright red lights and he's changed. He bust in the door like Kramer, talks like Kramer and low and behold he even references the famous Bob Sakameno.

Absolutely Vicious

I mean I told you squirrels need to get more respect. It was discovered today that squirrels used to have ridiculously large teeth and could legit bit anything that came into their path. But wow, we drive around today thinking we can just run these animals over? I'll tell you right now you wouldn't be running them over if they had these chompers on them. They'd see you on the cell phone driving and they'd pop your tires with one bite and put you in your place. This type of squirrel lived 94 millions years ago and was chillin' with the T-Rex and those Stegosauruses. Yeah, it used to run the game back in the day before humans were even here. We better start respecting these creatures or they it can come back to bite us, literally.

Seinfeldism of the Day: Navigation Systems are Useful

I feel like this sometimes. Just out of my element, lost, helpless but I just turn to the iPhone and it never let's me down. Now when I'm homesick, I act just like this all the time. But you see how important little GPS things are?

Does Anybody Else Hate Presenting in Front of a Class?

Listen, I have no problem speaking to random people and all that. I want to do a radio show or something later on in life or something (probably of Sirius because it's censored) but I just hate giving presentations to classrooms of kids. I don't know what it is. It's my torture. It's my kryptonite. Literally I will stand up in the class, stutter like a 2 year old with a speech impediment  and become redder than a overcooked lobster. Then the beads of sweat run down the face and that's when you know it's over. The kids are staring at me with daggers in their eyes and I know they're judging me. Nobody feels bad for me, they're laughing inside, snickering saying to themselves "what a tool or his fly is open or his voice cracked" all of which I have gotten from people in my 20 years of life. I'm 20 and the voice still cracks, I don't understand it. So on Thursday I present in front of 25 kids and you know what, as far as I'm concerned they're all in their underwear. End of story. I dare someone to question me, I'll give them a nice wink and a cold hard fact. It'll be the presentation they'll never forget.

We Need to Pay Pilots More

I mean yet again another pilot just stays calm under pressure and saves 230 lives. This Polish airline, departed from Newark, NJ today November 1st and made an emergency landing in Poland without any landing gears. This is just like my man Sully, who landed the plane in the Hudson River and saved everyone's life. This is why I'm not afraid of flying. These men at the controls here know what's up. I mean this guy lands a plane that is multiple feet long and weighs tons and just brings it to a stop after going ridiculously fast in the air. Unreal. But LOT airlines? You guys may want to update or inspect your planes. I mean there's no way that they couldn't have known the landing gears were going to fail. That's just laziness. Not to mention I've never heard of LOT airlines. 

Is it Possible to not Look Like a Chick When Putting on Chap-stick?

It's that time of the season again where the air is getting cold and the wind whips and dries out the lips. Lips begin to get licked and before you know it, the lips are so chapped that it looks like you have another set of lips. But what happens when this event occurs while you are out and public. You wisely put chap-stick in your pant pocket and you need to put some on. But wait? Is it masculine and macho to put chap-stick on in public? I've struggled with this for years. I don't want people to think that I am putting on lipstick or what not. But I have found the solution. Guys, we got to stop the whole stick of chapping relief and carry around a little circular thing of it. It just requires the finger into the chap stick and then rubbing your lips. It can be done so subtly without people looking at you like you're weird for putting on lipstick.

This is the stuff right here, in the pocket all day, everyday in the winter.