Ranking My Top Five Celebrity Crushes

People always seem to rip me for my taste in girls but all I simply say is that I like a real woman, not a stick. I like a girl who has a little meat on the old bones if you know what I mean. For lack of a better word, I like women who are a little supple. Well, I've decided I'm going to give you the top five women I would marry in 5 seconds if they came knocking on my door. If this crazy thing ever happened and I still have hopes it will, one of these lucky women will get to marry the kid.


5.Christina Hendricks 

I mean this is without a doubt a sleeper pick. I mean she's in Mad Men and she's unreal. Kind of like the underdog in this countdown. She climbed up the ranks as I've slowly gotten into watching Mad Men. I really know nothing about her but she's phenomenal looking.

4. Snooki 

Now, I mention that I think Snooki is pretty and the whole world jumps down my throat. People think that the word "pretty" can't be used in the same sentence as Snooki but I got news for you all, you're dead wrong. The Snookster here has the goods. She's got what it takes to bring home the bacon. Not only can she bring home the bacon, but she can fry it in the pan. Now I know she's pregnant and I know she's getting married to whoever, but a man can still dream right?

3. Katy Perry

Now I better not hear any arguments with this one. Perry is wicked cute. Her music is absolutely dumb and makes no sense to me but when it comes to the looks department, I'm buying it. She just seems like a chick who likes to have a good time and is easy to chill with. Easy pick here at number 3.

2. Christina Aguilera 

I don't watch The Voice but whenever I do and I see her hitting the red button and spinning her chair around I don't know, I go ape. If you don't watch The Voice, you have no idea what I'm talking about and if you do, dear Barbara.

1. Kelly Clarkson 

Now I take a lot of heat for this one. People are always telling me how her weight fluctuates more than the US economy and right, I get that. But honestly, she has easily the prettiest face in the land hands down. Her eyes are green and mine are green so if that's not a sign that we are meant to be, then I don't know what is. She's got the greatest voice in the music industry and she's still on the market. If she asked me to marry her in her nice southern accent I'd be psyched to put in simply. Kelly will probably always be number 1 on this list.